Hey there, friends and welcome to another glorious episode of this parenthood journey. I am so blessed that you decided to tune in today and I feel that today is an episode that will resonate with everyone, moms, dads, grandparents, caregivers, teachers. Anyone who has a hand in helping children. Everyone needs a little help in how to give yourself some grace. So, get a pen or pencil and a piece of paper and join me inside this episode.
It’s no secret that we all need to allow ourselves some room for error in our daily lives. There is so much that can happen in a day especially during this season of life, that can cause us to become withdrawn, anxious, and concerned. This is the perfect time to allow yourself and those around you some grace. But, for this episode we are just going to focus on you: your connections with others, your feelings, and how to allow yourself some time for self reflection.
First things first, let’s start with how to recognize with the way the world is today that you need some grace. I don’t want to give a lot of attention to it but with all the news and social media outlets blasting the virus it has been quite overwhelming. I remember for myself when the virus first started to shut down schools and businesses, the president was making multiple announcements and the governor was making multiple live streams a day. They were all blasting us with multiple ways to protect ourselves, the next business or places that would be closing, how many new people were infected, and no one could give us a definite answer as to when this would all be over. As I said on my couch watching the news, I could feel my chest tightening. In fact, I can feel it now as I start to think about everything that is going on. Now, I’m not saying to disregard the information, you and only you can decide what you want to listen to and if you feel the need to listen or watch. But, for me I knew that I could not sit and watch any more press conferences or live streams because I just could not function with all the information that was being blasted at me. So, I decided to give myself some grace and make space between myself and the media. I have not watched the news in I don’t know how long and I have avoided watching the live streams daily when I get the notification. Now, I don’t want to sound like I am avoiding it completely because I am not, but I am more concerned about what I can control. Who comes around my home and family, where I go, who I come in contact with, and the measures I am using to disinfect and clean my home once I return. By giving myself grace in this instance, I feel like I have given myself a part of my inner spirit back. Before I could feel myself feeling like I was trapped inside my house sort of like a prisoner. Once I made the switch I no longer look at it that way. I look at it as extra time I get to spend with my little girl, hubby, and fur babies.
Now, that the elephant in the room has been discussed. Let’s talk about the importance of giving yourself grace. My friends, I love each and every one of you and I want you to know that I truly care about you. Your well being and overall spiritual health means the world to me. That’s why I am so passionate about providing you with useful and actionable ways to increase how much grace you give yourself. By giving yourself grace you are freeing up space in your mind and heart for other things. You don’t need to worry yourself with what other people are doing or not doing. You need to do what is right for you. If that means deleting your news app on your phone, DO IT! For someone else if it means that you need to turn off social media for awhile, then go ahead and do that. You know the best way to give yourself some grace in the way that you need. I want you to jot down what stress you out most about life. Is it work stress, home stress, financial stress, whatever it may be and then beside it write what you can do to provide you some space where you don’t think about it. For me the best way is to write down everything I’m grateful for in my life. Then that way once I start to feel that stressed out, chest tightening feeling I pull out my list and read about all the things. It may sound simple but it is something that truly puts everything else into perspective. If you would like your own gratitude list, you can head down to the show notes and click on the gratitude list link. This list will help you get started on this journey and hopefully make even this unknown time a little better.
How exactly do you give yourself grace. First things first, write down all the things that cause you stress. You may want to skip over this step, but I encourage you not to. Recognizing what causes you to feel inadequate will help you in the long run. For me, my list includes the ever popular mom guilt of not doing right or measuring up, not spending quality time with my husband, and the teacher guilt of never giving my all to my students. Then you need to fill in your blessings for each one. So for my mom guilt, my blessing would be that my daughter is happy and healthy and has everything she needs, for the wife guilt I have our meaningful conversations, and for the teacher guilt I have my students are happy and know that they can be themselves and I accept them for who they are. The last step is you need to think of what you can do when gratitude is not enough. When the list of reminders is not helping, I look at my list of extra strength guilt crushers. Now under this category should be things that you do for yourself that make you feel better. On my list is exercise, baking, reading, listening to music, watching movies with my family, reading a book to Aria. Activities that make me feel like the world is in a better place and makes me feel a sense of calm and balance.
Now that you have your three lists, this becomes your strategy plan. I want you to print out the list, fill it out, and hang it up somewhere you will always see it. For me I have two copies, one in my office because that is where I am when I am working on school work or my business, and one on my refrigerator because let’s face it, when I’m not in my office my other place of solitude is the kitchen. This strategy plan because your one step guide to giving yourself grace. If you ever start to feel one of those sneaky little lies (for lack of a better word) in column one creeping up on you, crush it in it’s tracks with a method from column two. If that doesn’t work and you need something stronger, move to column three. I guarantee you that anything from your column three list will get rid of your pesky little problem from column one.
Friend, above all, I want you to know that you are a beautiful and capable soul. You can conquer anything that is thrown at you and I believe that better days lie ahead. If I am being totally transparent with you, I will say that mom guilt is definitely my number one biggest struggle and I really think social media plays a big part in that. I feel like most of you who are listening that what I do during the day is never enough or adequate enough for Aria. However, I know better than to compare my parenting skills to anyone else’s. I am also ready to listen and help however it is needed, so if you would like to connect with me you can find me on instagram @tinytikesteacher formally @littlecountryteacher or on the Tiny Tikes Teacher Facebook page.
To close out this episode, I just want to let you all know how deeply cherished you all are. I really want you to take these easy steps on how to give yourself some grace. I look forward to coming back for more episodes and I promise that one will definitely be about mom guilt because that is a monster in it’s own. I would love for you to leave me some feedback. You can leave a review on this episode and I will read some at the beginning of my next episode. Love you all and remember we are all in this journey together so let’s be kind to everyone. Bye for now!